Death Hurts
by qweerlittlefish
Summary: Beast boy is dead. Raven writes an acrostic poem about what they did in the past and what they planned on. T for death. Re-done.


**Summary: beast boy is dead. Raven writes an acrostic (slight) poem about what they did in the past and what they planned on. About his personality, his past, present and future, all she knew and didn't know about him and the night of his death. The actrosticness of the acrostic poem reads: Death Hurts Beast Boy, I miss you.**

**Please enjoy, review and remember that I do not own Teen Titans.**

**Day** you died. July 8th 2011. It was hard. How did we know that man was drunk, how did we know he'd shoot? If we did we wouldn't have sent you. I would have gone. I could have taken the bullet, healed myself even if it got me in the brain as it did for you.

**Every day** we remember, following slightly behind you, hearing a bang, a scream, a yell and many cries. I remember being still. You called Robin, who was shaking violently-both from anger and sadness. The man was gone, he didn't care. Robin held your pale green hand. You whispered a 'Thanks'. You smiled proudly at Cyborg, gently hugged Star, and waited for me, but I couldn't move. I could've healed you there and then, but I didn't, so instead you sighed and pointed to your eye, then your heart and then to me, before shutting your eyes and breathing heavily. Beast Boy, I love you too!

**Anger** was all that was built up inside of me the next few days. I didn't leave my room. I missed your stupid smile, annoying laugh and most of all your failed jokes. I screamed when Cyborg and robin started emptying the contents of your room."HE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE!" they'd shout to me, but you were.

**Teen** Titans GO! Robin stills calls to this day, but how can he say so, when one is missing? Gone? Out of our reach! Sometimes I wonder, when Robin calls out this, do the others also think of the huge void you left? Does Robin regret saying this?

**Hate.** That's what I felt for the team. Hate for Robin for giving the order to clean out any memory of you. Hate toward Cyborg for blaming himself, if it was really his fault he would have tried to help. Deep hate towards Starfire, who didn't understand, hate for her being naive. And most of all I felt hate towards you. Hate that you whispered you loved me and then left, left me alone, scared and full of anger, how could you leave me by myself?

**Happiness**, it's hard to feel. For all of us. It's an empty word for me even more now than before. I never told you Beast Boy, but after every funny joke you told or compliment you gave me, at the end of the day, when I lay in bed, I'd laugh and blush and smile. You were the happiness of the Team. Cyborg lost his boo-yah, Robin lost his pride, Starfire lost her innocence and I think I lost my mind.

**Understanding** your death was the hardest of all. I mean we all understood how you had died, but It was hard to think that someone who had been eating Tofu, playing video games, teaching Starfire YOUR language, kissing up to the boss and complimenting me one minute, could be dead the next. It was hard to acknowledge the fact that someone so lively and happy to be going on a mission, could come to such a standstill. The hardest part about your death was when your smile disappeared from your face.

**Remember** after Tokyo you suggested we go to Mexico, and soon we thought it was a great idea? Well for your birthday we were gonna take you, we went last year. It hurt deeply to go without you, but we took Bumble Bee (because as you bet on it, Cyborg and her were going out)- I'm aware I owe you a hundred dollars, but when I'll be able to give you them, I'm not sure.

**Tapes.** We found six in your room while we were cleaning it out. We watched them together, as we used to watch films on movie night. The first was a wedding; we took the young couple to be your parents. The second was your young life. The third was after the monkey attacked you, which your mother explained. The fourth was just you, from the day after your parent's death, surviving on your own, up until you were taken under someone's wing. The fifth was your Doom Patrol years, your thoughts and feelings on your life there. The last tape was a video log of time with the Titans, from the start, to the Beast, the depression you overcame after that, Terra, the more depression you over came, the happy times, and the times we didn't know about-like your attempted suicide in your third year of "titaning" as you called it. It was after Terra left. The log had each week, right up until your death. We cherished your smiles, cried with you and laughed at you...and sometimes, we laughed with you.

**Start.** We all had new starts, three years, six months and Five days after your death, the Teen Titans became the Titans, and we all started working like the honorary Titans...alone.  
>I patrol New York. I work as an editor, and go by the name of Rachel Roth, undercover I'm Raven. Protector of Rhoda City.<br>Robin is still in Jump City, under the name of Richard Grayson. He and Star are married, so they both live in the Tower. Robin works as a project scientist. Starfire is too busy looking after their kids! You weren't there for their wedding, or their kids, but we are all sure you would have made looking after them a whole lot easier. Starfire always tells them about how brave "Uncle Gar" was. Robin tells them about Beast Boy, he tells them that he loved you, that we all loved you. He says that one day, when they get old they'll see you. I can't wait to get old.  
>Cyborg lives in Steel City with Bee. It's hard to be in isolation, and I'm wondering, if you had never died, maybe you'd be helping me.<p>

**Beast Boy.** It was hard to forget your name. It had that ring to it. _Beast _Boy. Or Beast _Boy. _It was so hard not to think of you every second we were awake. You would see little kids walking down the street talking about "that boy who can turn into different beasties." hence never forgetting Beast BOY. But you were Garfield Mark Logan, we only found out in the tapes. We knew your first name anyway, but not you middle or end. Just like in life. We knew you as you were on the outside. We started to dig deeper and found your start-Garfield-Sakutia, Mark and Marie-both biologists, Africa. We started to uncover your middle, Mark, the real you, but your end came too soon and we didn't even find out what it was like for you.

**We** all share stories and your jokes on your birthday, we still celebrate it, that's something Robin dares not to remove, to keep us all sane and together, because without that small hint of celebrating you, we would all be in deep depression. I would celebrate anyway though; In Jump City the day of your death is a day of Mourning. It's treated like any other deeply scarring event. America lost something so important...and it will, you will, never be replaced.

**Animals** were bought by the basket after you died. We opened a Zoo in your name. Your real one. Garfield Mark Logan. The GML Zoo. We rescued over 356 animals, maybe you've heard of our work? We never got any green animals though. I stopped coming soon though, animals remind me too much of you. It drives me crazy.

**Starfire** and Robins wedding you missed, as I've already said. You were gonna be joint best man with Cyborg. The wedding was put on hold after your death. Partly because we were all in mourning and secondly because we all hoped you would randomly wake up, walk into the tower and crack a joke. We all missed you too much. The wedding was held a year after its original plan, and shortly after Rob and Star were pregnant with their triplets. We wish that you were here. You were great with kid's, you could make them stop crying within seconds, shame you couldn't be here to help. Robin and Star named them after you of course. Garfield, Mark and Marie (after your mother). One day Robin and Starfire will tell you all about them.

**Thanks** for everything. It's something I didn't say much, but Thank you. Thank you for trying to be nice, even though I was always rude, Thank you for trying to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood. Thank you for being so brave, for hardly showing your darker side, Thank you for saving me numerous times. Thank you for escaping death so many flipping times. Believe me Beast Boy, if I could take back all the mean things I said, and have a million great moments instead of arguments with you, I would. I'm sorry. For everything I ever did.

**But** all the Titans moved on, now they only think of you a couple of times a day, and few have stopped thinking about you they even forget who we're talking about. We all do. Even me. We could say something you said a billion times, like Tofu or Dudes, and be stared at. Once when Starfire asked if we wanted the Tofu, Robin answered. "Someone used to eat that. Who though?" I left the room crying. I'm not sure if he did it deliberately, but it was beyond mean.

**Over** the weeks after your death, I started getting flash backs of the earlier times, when we first met and how long it took for me to finally stop hating you, the civil bond we had. The first joke you ever told me, I can't remember what you said, but I remember regretting laughing after you said it. On the tapes you said it was your mission to make me laugh or smile, and you wouldn't give up until you did it. I smile for you now. I laugh out loud. If only you could hear me. If only you knew, that you completed that mission a long time ago.

**You** were ambitious, brave and caring. Daring, Eager and Friendly. You were good, heck sometimes even intelligent, and you were just you. Kind, Loud, Merry all the time. You were just plain nice, open to everyone, a people person. You weren't at all quiet, rebellious or _smart smart. _But you had that air of smartness around you. You were a tofu-addict, you know it's true. But you were also an umbrella from the raindrops of sadness to me, and victorious in everything you did. You were Wise, You were you, and that's all that mattered.

**I** hate to say it, but it's true, at times you were annoying, brainless and cocky. You were at times dopey, too earnest and a fail. You were also gross (but you three boys of the titans always were- but Robin and Cyborg had some sort of sanity!) and even horrible when you were in a bad mood. You could be idiotic, a jerk and sometimes too much of a kid. You could also be melodramatic, numb, a complete oaf and a pest. You would always ramble on about pointless things. You were at times stupid, tiresome to teach, unutterable and womanish. But these are the qualities that also made You, you.

**Many **thousands of people have sent their kind regards, other a million around the word have visited your grave. There are so many flowers on it, you would think it was a garden, but no, it's your simple stone grave. Of course, we had to make you more special than anyone's in the world, it's in a tomb, and there are lots of trees planted everywhere, there's an apple tree and lots of evergreens, and yes, we did that on purpose because these trees would grow and develop and stay green forever, I guess those are three things you never got to do. Some crazed fan girls visit your tomb every day, but you always have visitors and we come very often. I used to sleep in that tomb too, but Cyborg said it was starting to get dangerous. I never wanted to leave you alone, but I guess you're with the people you love now, so it doesn't matter. And how many days have been dedicated to you? July 8th in Jump is celebrating your life (or death) and there is also a national Beast Boy week all around America in December! I guess you're really lucky now, though you cannot see it.

**I **never told you Beast Boy, none of us did. But you mean the world to us. To everyone. You were like a solid foundation; though none of us ever noticed...not until it was too late. We are all sorry for not treating you like you should have being treated. I'm sorry, Robins killing himself over it, Star is sorry, Cyborg was distraught...everyone was.

**So **your life was short? So what! You lived it to the max and you did so many things...You've managed to make Starfire angry (which is virtually impossible now), you've been in my room...and my mind, your soul has been trapped in a puppet, you've competed with Aqualad for nothing, you've nearly been hit by a train, you have been hypnotised at a school. But that's not the end of it, you have been picked up by a flying saucer, you have fallen in love...and had your heart broken, you caused Cyborg to go on a rampage and eat everything in sight when you downloaded that virus...you also once became a Beast. You were the first to bring Silkie into our lives, the first to turn into a lamp (and the last), you also defeated Control Freak **in** TV! You were the first to get a proper job (in that restaurant) and you defeated evil tofu- which we still question, to this day. You have shown that you have no talent in technological terms. You also lived through the apocalypse I created. We only found much later on that you were a member of the Doom Patrol, and that you could be a great leader.

**Sadness**, however, still looms over the world. You left an imprint...a stain, which could not be lifted or removed. We have to live with the fact that you didn't have to die...you could still be alive. We should've listened, we were being overconfident. We thought we could handle anything, even guns...we were wrong.

**You** were and still are an inspiration to so many people. You told me a few times that you thought you were worthless. You told me that you'd failed so much. I never said anything too it, because you knew that, even though you have had such a huge share of the bad and the ugly, you still had your moments. No one needed to tell you that. Sure you made a few mistakes, made the wrong choices...but you built upon these and without them you wouldn't be the Beast Boy we knew, cherished and loved.

**Our **hope is sent to you. Though you may not get it. We really want you to understand that we want what is best for you. We couldn't ask for anything else. Though my heart aches so much every time I think of your death, I know you are happier now. Good Guys always have a happy ending. I really want that to be true. I don't want to have to think that you died in vain, for no reason. You died because it was your time, even though I hate to admit it.

**Understand **that we will join you soon. One day we can finally be together, but until then stay out of trouble and keep safe. You are remembered always, because you are Beast Boy, Changeling and Garfield Mark Logan. Born a hero, Lived a hero...died a hero. Once a hero, always a hero. I bet your saving cats from trees up there, or helping old ladies cross the street. I wouldn't be surprised if you had your own superhero squad. But we'll see. Who could ask for more?

**Okay, sad, bad, mad? How would you describe it! Review if you can!**

**QLF xXx**


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